It is amazing the lengths we go to as people to hide who we really are, what we really feel and what we really think. We do these things under the guise of protecting ourselves when all we are doing is creating more pain.

Hiding cuts us off from full relationship with God and the people in our lives. Think about how it feels when something you love is withheld from you, or when you really want to be with someone and it is just not possible. What if someone you love cut you short whenever you tried to get close to them? After awhile you may begin to feel rejected and wonder why you make yourself available.

Imagine that this is what you are doing to the people you love. Not only are you shutting them out, you are cutting yourself off from experiencing the fullness of being loved by others. You have rendered yourself unlovable and you reject the world before it can reject you.

When will you understand that you are whole and perfect, created in the image of God? You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no need to hide or withdraw. Your family needs you, your loved ones need you and God needs you to be salt and light in this earth.

Talk to the Lord about your fears. Stop running from destiny and live free.

Matthew 5:13-15 (New King James Version)

13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.
14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.

Who is that person in your life who always seems to know exactly what to say or do to get you from zero to rage in 60 seconds? They push and they push and as usual you walk right into the trap and explode in anger. Perhaps you have more than one person in your life who is skilled at causing you to tie your chest in a knot, scream, yell or try desperately to restrain yourself from doing something that would bring highly undesirable consequences.

How many times have you been driven to this state by these people or group of people? Why is it that no matter how many times we go there, we somehow believe that it won’t happen again? Why do we expect people to do something or be anything other than what they are?

The key to dealing with the difficult ones is to simply accept them! They are who they are. If you expect them to be anyone else, you will be upset and disappointed every time. In fact, we would all be happier if we simply started accepting people for who they are, even if we think they should be something else. If you do not accept them, you judge them, and that is not a seat you want to sit in.

Don’t forget that you are most likely someone else’s “difficult one.” If there isn’t a person on the earth who can say you have been difficult, God can say it. He sees and knows all.

Pray for people in your life that you find it hard to get along with and maintain your position of peace. Follow the example of Jesus. He did not seek trouble or react defensively. He maintained His position, accepting people as they were and remaining who He was at all times.

Try love, understanding and forgiveness when dealing with the difficult people in your life. Give people the same grace and mercy that you need for yourself.

Matthew 7:1-2 (New International Version)

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

I have come to the conclusion that people in general are too easily offended. If someone looks at you a certain way, they must have an attitude. If they didn’t greet you a certain way, they have a problem with you. If they don’t do something exactly the way you expected them to, they must not care about you. Why do we put ourselves through this?

The energy we expend while being upset over what we think somebody meant by their actions is energy that could be better used to improve the quality of our relationships.

If you love someone, trust them. If you don’t “love” them, why do their actions affect you? Either way, let it go. Most of the time when you let these things go, you find out that you were worried about nothing. However, if you choose to get upset and make a big deal over what you feel is an offense, you may damage an otherwise healthy and loving relationship.

It is important to remember that the world does not revolve around us. We think the actions of others automatically have something to do with us, or that our friends and family should consult with us before they live their life. Not so. I am striving to be consistent with my love for the people in my life and simply trust and believe in their love for me. Not only am I freeing them from my expectations, I am freeing myself to simply be happy.

Proverbs 17:9 (New International Version)

He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

 

I recently had my eyes opened to some broken areas in my life through an awesome 3.5 half day forum discussion. I learned that I had been dragging past events into my relationships, resulting in destructive behavior and a lack of commitment on my part.

I thought I had forgiven people from my past but I realized that as long as I held them responsible in any way for the breakdown of the relationship, I had not truly forgiven them.

Without true forgiveness, how was it possible for me to walk in love? Learning this created a desire in me to want to make things right. The thought of doing it was difficult but once I got started it became easier.

I decided to take 100% responsibility for the breakdown of my relationships. Then I sought forgiveness from individuals which turned out to be an amazing and surprising experience. I felt such a release as I shared what was on my heart but what I didn’t expect was the graciousness and the compassion of those who were on the receiving end of my apology. I almost couldn’t believe my ears.

I am thankful for the opportunity to mend relationships and erase the pain of my past today, especially because tomorrow is not promised. The limitations of my past prevented me from being the loving person that I aspired to be.

How can I walk in love while holding ill feelings toward my brother? Now I am free to reflect the image of God, the embodiment of Love.

Can you think of any broken relationships in your life right now? Do you have a desire to break free of all the negativity associated with that? Do you miss your estranged loved ones? You have the power to erase the pain of the past concerning those relationships right now. You have the power to make it right with the people in your life. Will you free yourself today?

Take responsibility for your relationships and fix them today. You cannot control what other people do, you can only choose to love and accept them or leave them alone. To be loving and accepting is the choice that will bring joy to your life.

Ephesians 4:30-32 (New International Version)

30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.